When Things Go Wrong
This summer we went rafting in the Deschutes River. We can always agree on an activity like rafting. Adding water to my family always increases the joy. We seek out different rivers with some good solid rapids. Not being a master on reading rivers, I go with rafting outfitters to have a guide help take us down. For me this not only doubles the number of adults in the boat, but guides also know the river well and know what spots to avoid, and my favorite, the great spots to hit. It gives me a great sense of security, but this trip gave us a whole new challenge.
As we got to the starting point, the excitement was palpable as we unloaded the boat, felt the incredibly cold water, a balmy 51 degrees, and started off on our adventure. The group was small and there were only two boats heading out. Ours with four people and the other family had 6 people in their raft.
As always the guide went over certain safety protocol, including how to get away from under the boat should you get caught under there. While the guides often rattle off these precautions quickly, I make sure to reinforce and remind the kids of the things to do as we start down the river. I tend to be a “what if” thinker so I generally have a general idea of how I would seek help if needed. In water the game changes because if one of the kids falls in, they need to remember the key things to do. When people panic that knowledge is quick to disappear, unless it’s really ingrained. So I remind the kids often and the kids practice their “go down river feet first” every time. The goal is that muscle memory will set in and when it’s needed, they do it.
The thing is, we’ve had over 10 rafting trips and none of these situations have ever come up. Kids have fallen out in spots where they could quickly get pulled back in.
After warming up on a few Class III’s we were starting to go through a Class III called Boxcar on the Deschutes river. It’s named for the boxcar that derailed and tumbled into the river. The rapids are turbulent and have large waves and a noticeable drop. There’s also a small ledge that leads to a hole on the left side. The rapid is manageable when you know it, but has some risk. I don’t know what happened but right at the start I got launched to the side, over the boat, and I remember my arms stretched out towards my eight year old. All I know is that the next moment I found myself under the boat in the rapids. Remembering the guidance to walk your hands above you in a direction (doesn’t matter which one, just pick one) I popped out right next to the boat. Thinking I would quickly climb in, I turned around to see a huge rock headed right for us. Knowing I couldn’t get in the boat in time I pushed away to avoid getting smashed between the rock and the boat. I had just locked eyes with my middle son as I pushed away from the boat. Pushing away from your kids in an emergency is absolutely against any instinct a parent has. As I swam away from the boat I looked over and realized the guide was also no longer in the boat either. It hit me that my kids were alone in the boat with no way for me to get to them. The current was strong, way too strong to swim against. I also had no idea if my youngest had stayed in the boat or if, thanks to me, he was also floating around. The boat landed on the rock, thankfully not with my body between the rock and the raft but it was starting to get pushed upwards. The water would inevitably push it far enough for it to flip over and the kids would find themselves underneath the boat. My stomach churned as I wondered if any of them would remember talking about what happens when your kayak flips and you’re underneath it. We never really discussed that situation with a raft. Would they know what to do under the raft?
As I continued to get pushed around through the water I looked back and noticed that boat was free from the rock. I found out afterwards that the guide was behind the boat and able to pull it out enough to get it away from the rock. At that point there were only a few things I could do to control the situation. The second boat had found an eddy and was clearly assessing the situation. I made eye contact, let him know I was fine and allowed myself to float in the same direction as the kids’ raft. I looked around to see if I could locate all three kids, which wasn’t easy since they were smart and sat down on the bottom of the boat so I only saw one head. The only way of really figuring out how bad the situation was would be to read the body language of the guide who was watching and preparing to step in to help. When he visibly relaxed I turned to see my daughter help pull the guide into the boat. When he started calling me over I knew all three kids had to be accounted for, and at that moment I focused on getting myself to a boat.
As soon as we all got in the boat we high fived and laughed about all the epic things they had done. While on the inside I didn’t really feel that way, it was important for my kids to feel that in those moments they did amazing. I didn’t want fear to set in. I wanted the adrenaline to turn to excitement. I wanted them to feel accomplished. They did awesome. No one panicked. They assessed the situation and did what they could. The youngest did get knocked out, which I didn’t know for sure until they told me later, but they had quickly pulled him back in. Before they even realized there were no adults left on the boat.
Listening to their rendition of the events I could tell logic set in for my daughter. She said her mind just told her that panicking wasn’t going to help, and to keep going until the next thing went wrong. My son was a bit more in shock and needed direction. My daughter stepped in and provided that. She told him to pull his brother in. She told him to sit low on the raft, and he did what he was told. A good trait in emergency situations since you don’t want multiple people taking the lead.
What I didn’t know is that the photography crew was right there. While their camera jammed up, or I think even they were in a moment of “oh f***” and forgot to take pictures, we did get this particular picture. For several nights this image would come in my mind. My heart would inevitably speed up but knowing as a family that we can manage situations like that feels good.
